Rivers

River swimming has always been my favourite kind of swimming. Against the current first for as long and as far as you choose, then the bliss when you get to surrender to it, and float, hopefully without too much effort, back down the path you have just been. Rivers have dark spots that you cannot see into, and bends and turns that you may not anticipate and also glorious well sun lit blue turquoise pools that meander you through them.. river swimming has it all, I believe as far as swimming goes.
It seems to me that Grief inside You is like a river flowing. It sits within You, under the surface and is constant. Initially you drown in it and wonder how it is that life can go on when you have no ability to breathe whilst in this grief, then it changes as everything does. It does not hurt all of the time, now, for me. Infact I have already had many many times of joy, pleasure and laughter - however I know that the river is there. I see the joyous times as those when I have reached the turquoise pool.. and then just as quickly as the joyful moments, you then arrive at a darkend place in this river and although these places are so gut wrenching lonely - you know you will pass them - the river always has more. I am as the Earth it would seem. With this beautiful river now within me of whose water is made of the love that Jacky and I shared. More than two decades of it makes for an ever changing vibrantly gentle and in some places torrential body of water. River swimming has always been my favourite and again I find myself the luckiest woman in the world.