Greetings beautiful people.. as above we are blogging out for now. Not sure when the next update will be as life has just gotten so damn busy, in a manner of speaking.
Wishing you all a safe and prosperous festive season and may you be blessed with good health, alot of laughter and may those you love receive the same.
Needless to say Jackys hikoi to health will go on and on and on and on and on.. and we will blog back in again at some stage.
In the words of Winston Churchill:
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
and
"Never, never, never give up"
Warmest love,
Jacky, Viv, Pirika and Martha Sinclair-Phillips xxoo..
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
There will always be enough
It just feels right to give Thanks this morning. Jacky and I have always believed we are blessed and that we have much to give Thanks for.
It is 6.39 am Friday 25th November. Jacky is in hospital and Kas was her sleep over mate last night. Thank you Kas.
Since her major surgery 31st July it has felt right that each night she has been in hospital we have a close friend or family member stay overnight with her, and ward 14 have always been accomodating for us in this manner. Yesterday a spare bed was brought into Jackys room which will make a welcome change from the electric blue vinyl lazy boy chair that I have spent so many nights awake in. Thank you Ann and the nursing staff of ward 14, for everything.
Thank you Pen, Rhonda, Chox, Meegan, Janine and Deb for doing the over night vigils whilst we travelled hell in ward 23, and all of the other things that individually and together we could thank you all for. Thank you Jem for your boys, and your Dad, and for the compassion, dedication and love that you threw around us and still do. Thank you Sam. Thanks dear Amber for being a constant light and source of beautiful energy that Jacky has always adored. Thanks Em, Bern and kids for being our favourite town stop over, for just being there Em, for so long now. Thanks Mim for the music and for understanding, or trying really hard to, and for the play dates - whenever we can fit them in. Thank you sister Jan for the love. Thank you Tristin, Matty and Mills for being yummy neighbours and for 'baking' baby Monty, and of course the massage, the healing massage. Thanks Gez for being the big guy that always backs my wife and I, and for co creating two of our shortest and lovliest friends. Thanks Sue and Chris for the chocolate fondue, and the scarves with the softest feel in the world - how they have cradled both Jacky and my necks from winds. Thanks Emmarina for being the most staunch, soft and beautiful woman that you are. Thanks Laura for turning up just when we needed you. Thanks Reuben for always being a rock for Jacky and I no matter what, Jacky adores you, and you and me - well we have an understanding eh? ;) Thanks to all the whanau here and those who are not here physically, but are in spirit -Jacky gets great strength from you all, and so do I. Thank you to Roger and the team at Waikuku School who have proven that you cannot beat a small country school for heart and warmth and who have cradled Pirika and Martha through this journey to date. Thanks to everyone in our community who has baked, cooked and nourished our whanau - the out pouring of love has been incredible, and something we will all never forget. I would want to mention you all and can think of at least a dozen more names right now, but do not want to risk offending anyone by missing them out - you know who you are and so do we, and we deeply and sincerely Thank you for caring for Jacky and for us all. Thank you to everyone who has given to us in so many ways from kai to financially sponsoring Jackys hikoi/journey that we share with her.. we honestly could never Thank you all enough.
On that note - I will sign off. Much to do, get ourselves ready for school and then off to ward 14 as Jacky and I have a meeting with Fiona the Maori Health advocate at 10am today. Big day today, on many levels.
I feel I had better quote Jacky as this is her blog...I'm just a fill in - trying to do her justice...
" There is a Maori proverb that encompasses my passion which is “He aha te mea nui o te ao? He tangata, He tangata, He tangata” – “What are the most important things, tis people, tis people, tis people.” "
It is 6.39 am Friday 25th November. Jacky is in hospital and Kas was her sleep over mate last night. Thank you Kas.
Since her major surgery 31st July it has felt right that each night she has been in hospital we have a close friend or family member stay overnight with her, and ward 14 have always been accomodating for us in this manner. Yesterday a spare bed was brought into Jackys room which will make a welcome change from the electric blue vinyl lazy boy chair that I have spent so many nights awake in. Thank you Ann and the nursing staff of ward 14, for everything.
Thank you Pen, Rhonda, Chox, Meegan, Janine and Deb for doing the over night vigils whilst we travelled hell in ward 23, and all of the other things that individually and together we could thank you all for. Thank you Jem for your boys, and your Dad, and for the compassion, dedication and love that you threw around us and still do. Thank you Sam. Thanks dear Amber for being a constant light and source of beautiful energy that Jacky has always adored. Thanks Em, Bern and kids for being our favourite town stop over, for just being there Em, for so long now. Thanks Mim for the music and for understanding, or trying really hard to, and for the play dates - whenever we can fit them in. Thank you sister Jan for the love. Thank you Tristin, Matty and Mills for being yummy neighbours and for 'baking' baby Monty, and of course the massage, the healing massage. Thanks Gez for being the big guy that always backs my wife and I, and for co creating two of our shortest and lovliest friends. Thanks Sue and Chris for the chocolate fondue, and the scarves with the softest feel in the world - how they have cradled both Jacky and my necks from winds. Thanks Emmarina for being the most staunch, soft and beautiful woman that you are. Thanks Laura for turning up just when we needed you. Thanks Reuben for always being a rock for Jacky and I no matter what, Jacky adores you, and you and me - well we have an understanding eh? ;) Thanks to all the whanau here and those who are not here physically, but are in spirit -Jacky gets great strength from you all, and so do I. Thank you to Roger and the team at Waikuku School who have proven that you cannot beat a small country school for heart and warmth and who have cradled Pirika and Martha through this journey to date. Thanks to everyone in our community who has baked, cooked and nourished our whanau - the out pouring of love has been incredible, and something we will all never forget. I would want to mention you all and can think of at least a dozen more names right now, but do not want to risk offending anyone by missing them out - you know who you are and so do we, and we deeply and sincerely Thank you for caring for Jacky and for us all. Thank you to everyone who has given to us in so many ways from kai to financially sponsoring Jackys hikoi/journey that we share with her.. we honestly could never Thank you all enough.
On that note - I will sign off. Much to do, get ourselves ready for school and then off to ward 14 as Jacky and I have a meeting with Fiona the Maori Health advocate at 10am today. Big day today, on many levels.
I feel I had better quote Jacky as this is her blog...I'm just a fill in - trying to do her justice...
" There is a Maori proverb that encompasses my passion which is “He aha te mea nui o te ao? He tangata, He tangata, He tangata” – “What are the most important things, tis people, tis people, tis people.” "
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Ward 14 ChCh hospital,
Tomorrow morning Thursday 26th November - Jacky is going to be re admitted to ward 14 Christchurch public hospital. She has chosen to do this herself (in consultation with our family GP) as she really desperately needs to get her health sorted,or more specifically right now her leg sorted. It seems that the wait to see a specialist privately is a longer journey that it is to be readmitted into the public system to hopefully get the clarity she needs on her health - to plan a way forward. Jacky has lost the use of her right leg and is, as predicted by the Auckland Drs, in agony with it. She had a scan on Monday that confirmed the DVT is "persisting" - or hasn't gone away. The fact that this DVT could have ended Jackys life was a huge blow to us both. How many times does one have to face mortality? I was told today that we face our mortality each day when we awake - perhaps - but not as my Jacky is having to face hers seemingly over and over and over. And I detest it! Damn this situation. Damn this cruel pain for haunting my love, whom I still believe IS the kindest person in the world. How can this be fair? It can't. That is the plain and simple truth of it. It cannot.
Today I found the elusive Maori advocate health worker - infact I found an entire team of advocates there to awhi and tautoko (support) Maori patients in ChCh hospital. Jacky and I were told the last time she was in hospital that there was no Maori health advocate in ChCh hospital. I had a lengthy conversation with a woman named Fiona who was staunch, proud and convicted in her manner. All traits that I respect. She assured me and reassured me that her and her team would look after Jacky if she were admitted again, and that they would make sure that all of Jackys needs would be met and, that this time there would be "no bullshit". Her colourful use of language only came about in response to my own as I relayed the reasons why Jacky already has cause for a huge health and disability case against the CDHB.
I pray with every part of my being that this time the medical oath of "first cause no harm" and the word "care" will come literally into play. At least in ward 14 under the charge of superbly professional charge nurse Ann, there is a team of genuinely lovely people who do genuinely care for our Jacky, Pirika and Martha and our whanau.
My mum used to say "where there is a will there is a way". Jacky and I have lived our lives by that simple mantra. Plenty of will - just gotta find the way.
As always - Jacky enters this next part of her journey with positive enthusiasm and is looking forward to moving forward, and to being well again.
Warmly loving you all and eternally grateful for the aroha and support you give us.
xo
Today I found the elusive Maori advocate health worker - infact I found an entire team of advocates there to awhi and tautoko (support) Maori patients in ChCh hospital. Jacky and I were told the last time she was in hospital that there was no Maori health advocate in ChCh hospital. I had a lengthy conversation with a woman named Fiona who was staunch, proud and convicted in her manner. All traits that I respect. She assured me and reassured me that her and her team would look after Jacky if she were admitted again, and that they would make sure that all of Jackys needs would be met and, that this time there would be "no bullshit". Her colourful use of language only came about in response to my own as I relayed the reasons why Jacky already has cause for a huge health and disability case against the CDHB.
I pray with every part of my being that this time the medical oath of "first cause no harm" and the word "care" will come literally into play. At least in ward 14 under the charge of superbly professional charge nurse Ann, there is a team of genuinely lovely people who do genuinely care for our Jacky, Pirika and Martha and our whanau.
My mum used to say "where there is a will there is a way". Jacky and I have lived our lives by that simple mantra. Plenty of will - just gotta find the way.
As always - Jacky enters this next part of her journey with positive enthusiasm and is looking forward to moving forward, and to being well again.
Warmly loving you all and eternally grateful for the aroha and support you give us.
xo
Saturday, November 14, 2009
misadventures
Kia ora all,
here I am standing at an internet kiosk on level 5 of Auckland hospital.. at my feet there is a sign that says clearance sale and underneath this, a few random items for sale - one of which is a wall plaque that reads
"the significant problems that we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them - Albert Einstein"..
how timely to be looking for answers, and finding this little pearl of wisdom at my feet.
Jacky has DVT or blood clots, in laymans terms, in her right leg. The Drs up here believe this is a result of her 2nd and most major surgery. It is their oppinion that Jacky should have been put of blood thinning drugs as a precautionary measure after the big 31at July surgery,and that if so, she would not have ended up in this situation. Just yet another example of how ChCh hospital has failed Jacky. This "over sight" perhaps, has resulted in Jacky being in intense pain from the DVT, laying in her bed in room 6, ward 73 in this very hospital, with blood thinning drip, IV antibiotics and back on pain relief - which as nasty as it can be, is somewhat of a welcome relief.
This morning we were told by a seemingly lovelyDr/specialist named Jonathon "if I were in charge of your care Jacky there would be a number of things that I would be doing that do not appear to have been carried out in ChCh".. I questioned him on this and he gave us some ideas of how to best manage this when we get back south. I questioned "how could it be that ChCh hospital and the "specialists"caring for Jacky there could have missed the DVT when she has had so many scans and even a full body MRI?" The response was "we cannot comment on that". Of course not - how could one DHB comment on the failings of another, it would not be politically correct to do so.
Again the plaque at my feet rings true in my mind:
"The significant problems that we face cannot be resolved by the same level of thinking that created them" Thank you for the confirmation Mr Einstein - Jacky had already decided that the main specialist who has lorded his egotisical power and cold manner over Jackys "care" for months now - will no longer be doing so. Indeed Mr D - it is time for a new level of thinking. You in your own words had your "one bite at the cherry", infact you had two. Time for a new level of thinking to find resolution and a way back to health.
Are we dissappointed in Wolf not picking up the DVT.. yes. However he did pick up that there was a build up in Jackys groin which is where the clot has risen too from her calf muscle. Still there is an element of disappointment that cannot be denied. It does no one any good to wallow in such emotions though.
Jacky told me this morning - "I could go there babe, easily feel like that, but I cannot afford to. What I need to do is to stay calm, breathe and focus on getting through this."
The Drs here have said that Jacky will probably be discharged Monday (tomorrow), if her bloodwork is reacting to the drugs successfully, and have said that the focus is on stopping the DVT rising further - not on getting rid of it altogether. They have also said that there is no problem Jacky flying home to ChCh as long as her blood is thinned sufficiently. Does that make me anxious - hell yes, however anxiety has become a part of our being, so I will listen internally and monitor the level of mine and Jackys anxiety and we will make decisions based on what feels right. Ultimately Jackys decision. Your intuition rarely fails to let you down we have discovered. Listening outwardly, often lets you down. Life - the great balancing act as Dr Suess described it, in one of our favourite childrens books "Oh the places you'll go".
So, herein is the update - where Jacky is at. If you have her number - txt your LOVE to her, she will enjoy hearing from you. If you don't get a reply, it's just that she has a couple of things on at the moment. Rest assured she will be sending her love right back.
We miss you, all. We long for normalness, for laughter, for our own beds, for our friends and southern whanau, for good drinking water from our taps, for our animals, for fresh easterlies and the sound of the surf filtering through the trees at Waikuku.
For now, over and out. Warmly, on behalf of Jacky, me and all of Us xxoo...
here I am standing at an internet kiosk on level 5 of Auckland hospital.. at my feet there is a sign that says clearance sale and underneath this, a few random items for sale - one of which is a wall plaque that reads
"the significant problems that we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them - Albert Einstein"..
how timely to be looking for answers, and finding this little pearl of wisdom at my feet.
Jacky has DVT or blood clots, in laymans terms, in her right leg. The Drs up here believe this is a result of her 2nd and most major surgery. It is their oppinion that Jacky should have been put of blood thinning drugs as a precautionary measure after the big 31at July surgery,and that if so, she would not have ended up in this situation. Just yet another example of how ChCh hospital has failed Jacky. This "over sight" perhaps, has resulted in Jacky being in intense pain from the DVT, laying in her bed in room 6, ward 73 in this very hospital, with blood thinning drip, IV antibiotics and back on pain relief - which as nasty as it can be, is somewhat of a welcome relief.
This morning we were told by a seemingly lovelyDr/specialist named Jonathon "if I were in charge of your care Jacky there would be a number of things that I would be doing that do not appear to have been carried out in ChCh".. I questioned him on this and he gave us some ideas of how to best manage this when we get back south. I questioned "how could it be that ChCh hospital and the "specialists"caring for Jacky there could have missed the DVT when she has had so many scans and even a full body MRI?" The response was "we cannot comment on that". Of course not - how could one DHB comment on the failings of another, it would not be politically correct to do so.
Again the plaque at my feet rings true in my mind:
"The significant problems that we face cannot be resolved by the same level of thinking that created them" Thank you for the confirmation Mr Einstein - Jacky had already decided that the main specialist who has lorded his egotisical power and cold manner over Jackys "care" for months now - will no longer be doing so. Indeed Mr D - it is time for a new level of thinking. You in your own words had your "one bite at the cherry", infact you had two. Time for a new level of thinking to find resolution and a way back to health.
Are we dissappointed in Wolf not picking up the DVT.. yes. However he did pick up that there was a build up in Jackys groin which is where the clot has risen too from her calf muscle. Still there is an element of disappointment that cannot be denied. It does no one any good to wallow in such emotions though.
Jacky told me this morning - "I could go there babe, easily feel like that, but I cannot afford to. What I need to do is to stay calm, breathe and focus on getting through this."
The Drs here have said that Jacky will probably be discharged Monday (tomorrow), if her bloodwork is reacting to the drugs successfully, and have said that the focus is on stopping the DVT rising further - not on getting rid of it altogether. They have also said that there is no problem Jacky flying home to ChCh as long as her blood is thinned sufficiently. Does that make me anxious - hell yes, however anxiety has become a part of our being, so I will listen internally and monitor the level of mine and Jackys anxiety and we will make decisions based on what feels right. Ultimately Jackys decision. Your intuition rarely fails to let you down we have discovered. Listening outwardly, often lets you down. Life - the great balancing act as Dr Suess described it, in one of our favourite childrens books "Oh the places you'll go".
So, herein is the update - where Jacky is at. If you have her number - txt your LOVE to her, she will enjoy hearing from you. If you don't get a reply, it's just that she has a couple of things on at the moment. Rest assured she will be sending her love right back.
We miss you, all. We long for normalness, for laughter, for our own beds, for our friends and southern whanau, for good drinking water from our taps, for our animals, for fresh easterlies and the sound of the surf filtering through the trees at Waikuku.
For now, over and out. Warmly, on behalf of Jacky, me and all of Us xxoo...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Auckland hospital today
Just when we think the physical journey is over... Jacky was this morning admitted to Auckland hospital. Her nephrostomy tubes have stopped working, they may have become blocked due to an infection.. so tonight or late this afternoon Pirika, Martha and I fly to Auckland. Don't know much else so far - except that Jacky is feeling pretty good, is calm and can't wait to see her children :)
Watch this space. I will update this when I can.
Keep the healing prayers, vibes, meditations coming - please.
Warm love, Us all
Watch this space. I will update this when I can.
Keep the healing prayers, vibes, meditations coming - please.
Warm love, Us all
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Great news is that Jackys hip has stopped dislocating! The relief of which is intense for her. The negative of this is that as soon as her femur settled into it's hip joint, her leg started swelling from the foot right up to her hip and she was in a lot of pain from this. This however has rectified itself - or Jacky has healed this by massage, more movement now she is able to (slightly), drinking lots of horsetail tea, and the magic of Serrapeptase has raised it's head in glory! It really was a beautiful discovery that particular butterfly.
With much discussion we have decided that the easiest mode of transport home for Jacky will be a plane, so tomorrow she is heading to Auckland to stay for two nights with her big sister and Chox is going along as well.
Pirika, Martha and myself tomorrow morning take the hikoi wagon and start our journey south. We will have one overnight stop in Taranaki with Poppa. It will be the first time in more than twenty years that I would have ever been in Taranaki without Jacky. I cried at the idea of two days away from my love, when it has been such a battle to keep her alive whilst in hospital, and to help her regain health since. However, I'm not silly and do realise that this definitely will be easier for her, as well as the fact that two nights in Auckland with Patti, and Chox as well, will be alot of fun and make for warm sister memories.
Jacky flies home late Thursday night, and me and the littles should arrive in Waikuku Beach sometime during the early hours of Thursday morning. It is with mixed emotion that we will leave this beautiful place, there is no doubt about that.
Our dear friends here who have cocooned us with absolute love and care. Sheila, Simon, Ms Nik who have visited us during our stay in Thames. All of those we love who live in Auckland whom we haven't been able to catch up with and wished we could have - you know who you are!
Dear Piki only 2 hours drive away.
Wolf being so close by with his age old wisdom and ability to transform pain and dis ease into something else altogether. The learnings of which we will never forget and of which have changed us fundamentally from here on out. May blessings continue to fall upon you Wolf.
The glorious warmth that is always a part of the weather here - even when the locals believe it to be cold!
The citrus, never ending, plump, healthy and full of juice.
The bush - the incredible gift of Tane Mahuta that is still everywhere up here in the north.
The sweet serene bays that you could dive into in a heartbeat and the fish that you so easily pull from the same bays. The stingrays.
Ae, it is with mixed emotion that we leave and head for home. However the love of home will soften these yearnings, as will the delicious folk in our village who are our dear dear ones. Yes Kuku - here we come and we look forward to breathing you in, and sinking into you again.
The physical part of Jackys hikoi is nearly over, however this is really just a chapter, this journey will be never ending we feel, and it is a good good hikoi.
Warmly, Viv, Jacky, Pirika and Martha xxoo
PS - our Darcy - we will be home for your birthday. It would be lovely to see you. We love you. xo
With much discussion we have decided that the easiest mode of transport home for Jacky will be a plane, so tomorrow she is heading to Auckland to stay for two nights with her big sister and Chox is going along as well.
Pirika, Martha and myself tomorrow morning take the hikoi wagon and start our journey south. We will have one overnight stop in Taranaki with Poppa. It will be the first time in more than twenty years that I would have ever been in Taranaki without Jacky. I cried at the idea of two days away from my love, when it has been such a battle to keep her alive whilst in hospital, and to help her regain health since. However, I'm not silly and do realise that this definitely will be easier for her, as well as the fact that two nights in Auckland with Patti, and Chox as well, will be alot of fun and make for warm sister memories.
Jacky flies home late Thursday night, and me and the littles should arrive in Waikuku Beach sometime during the early hours of Thursday morning. It is with mixed emotion that we will leave this beautiful place, there is no doubt about that.
Our dear friends here who have cocooned us with absolute love and care. Sheila, Simon, Ms Nik who have visited us during our stay in Thames. All of those we love who live in Auckland whom we haven't been able to catch up with and wished we could have - you know who you are!
Dear Piki only 2 hours drive away.
Wolf being so close by with his age old wisdom and ability to transform pain and dis ease into something else altogether. The learnings of which we will never forget and of which have changed us fundamentally from here on out. May blessings continue to fall upon you Wolf.
The glorious warmth that is always a part of the weather here - even when the locals believe it to be cold!
The citrus, never ending, plump, healthy and full of juice.
The bush - the incredible gift of Tane Mahuta that is still everywhere up here in the north.
The sweet serene bays that you could dive into in a heartbeat and the fish that you so easily pull from the same bays. The stingrays.
Ae, it is with mixed emotion that we leave and head for home. However the love of home will soften these yearnings, as will the delicious folk in our village who are our dear dear ones. Yes Kuku - here we come and we look forward to breathing you in, and sinking into you again.
The physical part of Jackys hikoi is nearly over, however this is really just a chapter, this journey will be never ending we feel, and it is a good good hikoi.
Warmly, Viv, Jacky, Pirika and Martha xxoo
PS - our Darcy - we will be home for your birthday. It would be lovely to see you. We love you. xo
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Wolf today
We arrived at the house of Wolf only to discover that we were an hour late!! It was gutting as he had people arriving only 20 minutes after us however he still worked on Jacky for 55 minutes.. Wolf said that due to the huge amount of "chopping" the Dr's did, that Jackys muscles have been constantly spasming trying to move and fill the large space in her abdomen that used to be filled by organs.. he said that the constant muscular spasming and pulling had stretched and strained the connective tissue around Jackys hip to the point that it had torn apart.. therefore there was alot of raw nerve damage that was now regenerating itself. Each time we have visited Wolf he has quite literally been rearranging Jackys muscles and each time the void is being filled a little more. Todays session was spent by Wolf putting Jackys femur back in her hip again (he taught me how to do this), rearranging her muscle groups, and other healing in his own medicine man way. He told us that Jacky has a bacterial infection caused by the inserts (nephrostomy tubes) and that this is keeping her bodies acidic level at around 50% which is slowing the possible healing process down.
We are looking into Jacky having an ultasound scan so we can see if her uretas are open so that the tubes can be removed. I may have explained earlier that this is a difficult undertaking as once you are in the hospital system it appears your body and health, is controlled by the medical team that has "processed" you, in a manner of speaking. Another chapter in this project.
We see Wolf again tomorrow morning and he will spend a short time "rearranging tissue" again and then we make our way, slowly, back to Thames.
Last appointment with Wolf will be this Sunday. Jacky is also taking a remedy to increase elasticity in her tissues and by doing this the muscles around her hips should tighten more easily and keep her femur where it belongs. Hallelujah to that idea.
Tonight it is Guy Fawkes. It is raining here so we are sitting in hikoi van watching "March of the Penguins". You can be out in the rain here and get wet and you are always warm - I love that. Being warm, there is a richness in that. Pirika and Martha have sparklers however will save them for tomorrow night in the Thames Auntys backyard. We wonder what all our Canterbury whanau and dear friends are doing tonight? As well as loving where we are we do miss you all. Before we know it we will be home again, the same, but richer, more humbled and more grateful. Warm love from Us to you all. xo
PS. Nicole - every time we drive through Paeroa and past the BIG L & P bottle - we think of you :)
xo
We are looking into Jacky having an ultasound scan so we can see if her uretas are open so that the tubes can be removed. I may have explained earlier that this is a difficult undertaking as once you are in the hospital system it appears your body and health, is controlled by the medical team that has "processed" you, in a manner of speaking. Another chapter in this project.
We see Wolf again tomorrow morning and he will spend a short time "rearranging tissue" again and then we make our way, slowly, back to Thames.
Last appointment with Wolf will be this Sunday. Jacky is also taking a remedy to increase elasticity in her tissues and by doing this the muscles around her hips should tighten more easily and keep her femur where it belongs. Hallelujah to that idea.
Tonight it is Guy Fawkes. It is raining here so we are sitting in hikoi van watching "March of the Penguins". You can be out in the rain here and get wet and you are always warm - I love that. Being warm, there is a richness in that. Pirika and Martha have sparklers however will save them for tomorrow night in the Thames Auntys backyard. We wonder what all our Canterbury whanau and dear friends are doing tonight? As well as loving where we are we do miss you all. Before we know it we will be home again, the same, but richer, more humbled and more grateful. Warm love from Us to you all. xo
PS. Nicole - every time we drive through Paeroa and past the BIG L & P bottle - we think of you :)
xo
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Still in Waihi and the crevice
Last night and again tonight we are staying in the Waihi Beach Top 10 camping ground, as the great house that we were so kindly able to use for the last four nights is no longer available. This camping ground is outstanding though. It has a heated pool, a spa, a sauna, pet eels just like at Willowbank in ChCh that you can feed, and we are again surrounded by pohutakawa and gorgeous birdlife.. Pirika and Martha have been having a ball - the pool has a water slide/mini hydro slide so they have been hurtling themselves down that all day yesterday and are doing the same again right now as I type this . I think we may have scored the best powered site in the entire campground as we are about 20 steps from the pool and spa and can sit in the campervan and easily supervise the littles frolicking in the water from the campervan window. The beach is about 2mins walk away and it is a glorious beach. Lots of exploring live rockpools and dark stone formations. We got you a rock from here Amber :)
Less idyllic than the above is the damn sciatic type leg hip pain that Jacky STILL has. She can hardly walk with it. Appears to have floored Wolf even how long this is taking to heal - although he keeps telling us that the nerve damage was quite severe so therefore it will take a while to repair. Still very disheartening after being here for 2 weeks. My poor love is handling it so well - mostly. Although any of you who have suffered with constant pain of any kind know well that it GETS YOU DOWN :(
Jacky is going to have accupuncture this weekend from a friend of lovely Kates and will hopefully get some relief from this curse. We see Wolf again this morning and he can literally make pain disappear by laying his hands on you. This may be our last visit with Wolf today as next week we have to make our journey southward - heading for home.
I would have to write for hours to tell you what we have learned so far on this hikoi, of how just 5 minutes of giggling from Pirika and Martha alone has made it all worthwhile - and I can assure you they have laughed alot more than that! Oh how these dear babes deserve to laugh.
We have learnt a pile about nutritional and cellular health and have been constantly reminded of how our bodies are just machines that carry us through this lifetime.
Last night we discovered whilst online that common side effects for the bloodpressure medication that Jacky is on "metoprolol" are sleeplessness and pain! Jacky has not been sleeping well at all since coming out of the hospital, how beneficial it would have been to have been told that she could experience this, and pain?! Jacky certainly needs no more negative energy added to create pain. Western medicine (SIGH) it has it's place, undoubtedly, however it is so vicious in its ways. I will always remember after my brother in law died from cancer, after months of chemotherapy treatment, my sister Jan saying to me "you know, I think sometimes we treat with machine guns when we should be using butterflys".
We believe we are working with butterflys and although not as fast in actioning the effect as the couterpart machine guns, butterflys work in collaboration with your body and its vast systems, and slowly but surely, wellness is able to return.
Last night I found a natural pain killer/anti inflamatory "serrapeptase". It has been used widely in Asia and Europe for 30 years and has no known side effects! Relief from pain commonly occurs as quick as within 10 days. It is made from an enzyme from the gut of a silk worm, I know, I know - I can hear Gez saying "how the hell did someone discover that?!" I'm not sure, but they did, and this is the next butterfly that has flown our way and landed in the hikoi van. Finger toes and everything else crossed that some relief will be found in this medicine. It should arrive in Thames tomorrow.
Off to see Wolf now, back to Thames tomorrow - warmly, Us all
xo...
Less idyllic than the above is the damn sciatic type leg hip pain that Jacky STILL has. She can hardly walk with it. Appears to have floored Wolf even how long this is taking to heal - although he keeps telling us that the nerve damage was quite severe so therefore it will take a while to repair. Still very disheartening after being here for 2 weeks. My poor love is handling it so well - mostly. Although any of you who have suffered with constant pain of any kind know well that it GETS YOU DOWN :(
Jacky is going to have accupuncture this weekend from a friend of lovely Kates and will hopefully get some relief from this curse. We see Wolf again this morning and he can literally make pain disappear by laying his hands on you. This may be our last visit with Wolf today as next week we have to make our journey southward - heading for home.
I would have to write for hours to tell you what we have learned so far on this hikoi, of how just 5 minutes of giggling from Pirika and Martha alone has made it all worthwhile - and I can assure you they have laughed alot more than that! Oh how these dear babes deserve to laugh.
We have learnt a pile about nutritional and cellular health and have been constantly reminded of how our bodies are just machines that carry us through this lifetime.
Last night we discovered whilst online that common side effects for the bloodpressure medication that Jacky is on "metoprolol" are sleeplessness and pain! Jacky has not been sleeping well at all since coming out of the hospital, how beneficial it would have been to have been told that she could experience this, and pain?! Jacky certainly needs no more negative energy added to create pain. Western medicine (SIGH) it has it's place, undoubtedly, however it is so vicious in its ways. I will always remember after my brother in law died from cancer, after months of chemotherapy treatment, my sister Jan saying to me "you know, I think sometimes we treat with machine guns when we should be using butterflys".
We believe we are working with butterflys and although not as fast in actioning the effect as the couterpart machine guns, butterflys work in collaboration with your body and its vast systems, and slowly but surely, wellness is able to return.
Last night I found a natural pain killer/anti inflamatory "serrapeptase". It has been used widely in Asia and Europe for 30 years and has no known side effects! Relief from pain commonly occurs as quick as within 10 days. It is made from an enzyme from the gut of a silk worm, I know, I know - I can hear Gez saying "how the hell did someone discover that?!" I'm not sure, but they did, and this is the next butterfly that has flown our way and landed in the hikoi van. Finger toes and everything else crossed that some relief will be found in this medicine. It should arrive in Thames tomorrow.
Off to see Wolf now, back to Thames tomorrow - warmly, Us all
xo...
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Crevice - this is one of them
Today has been a bit of a down day. For no other reason than Jacky is OVER this all. Over being sore, over nephrostomy tubes coming out of her back, over having to rest all the time and missing out of life. Simply over it. And me, well I'm over it too. My dear work aholic, can fix anything, super woman, my love - suffering in any way has never been positive.. sigh. The thing is, what Jacky has been through this year is huge, bigger than huge, and cannot be underestimated.. so to restore health is a journey that will be ongoing for some time it seems, and as predicted, there are good days and days that are not so good. On the plus side... Tomorrow we see Wolf again.
Chox and Kate have arranged a house for us to stay in at Waihi beach which will mean only a 5 or 10 minute drive from Wolf and Lara - rather than the 45 minute trek we usually do in the campervan. We will stay there overnight tomorrow and return to Thames on Sunday.
It's our dear friend Em's 40th birthday this weekend and we are sad to not be there celebrating with her. You have a lot of good friends Em so we know you will have fun - but please know we wish we could be there. Doesnt seem that long since your 21st and yet it was a lifetime ago.
Jacky is asleep. The Auntys are at work. Pirika and Martha are enjoying zone out infront of the TV time and I'm about to get ready to greet Sheila and Simon as they are due to arrive in the next half hour. We last saw them when Jacky and I acted as celebrants for their wedding in March this year. We have exchanged only a couple of phone calls and emails since and I feel weepy already at the prospect of seeing such dear friends after the year we have had. I cry greeting and farewelling loved ones under "normal" circumstances, and lets face it - this year has been anything but normal.
It will be a nice evening filled with love. There is no doubt about that.
Wishing you all a safe and warm weekend. Warm love, Us all
xo
Chox and Kate have arranged a house for us to stay in at Waihi beach which will mean only a 5 or 10 minute drive from Wolf and Lara - rather than the 45 minute trek we usually do in the campervan. We will stay there overnight tomorrow and return to Thames on Sunday.
It's our dear friend Em's 40th birthday this weekend and we are sad to not be there celebrating with her. You have a lot of good friends Em so we know you will have fun - but please know we wish we could be there. Doesnt seem that long since your 21st and yet it was a lifetime ago.
Jacky is asleep. The Auntys are at work. Pirika and Martha are enjoying zone out infront of the TV time and I'm about to get ready to greet Sheila and Simon as they are due to arrive in the next half hour. We last saw them when Jacky and I acted as celebrants for their wedding in March this year. We have exchanged only a couple of phone calls and emails since and I feel weepy already at the prospect of seeing such dear friends after the year we have had. I cry greeting and farewelling loved ones under "normal" circumstances, and lets face it - this year has been anything but normal.
It will be a nice evening filled with love. There is no doubt about that.
Wishing you all a safe and warm weekend. Warm love, Us all
xo
Famous
You can view the picture of Pirika by following the below link, unfortunately Martha (who was running by to the right of Pirika, chasing fish in the shallows) can't be seen for some reason online, but she can be in the actual photo in the paper. SO cute!
http://www.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/news/3009842/NZ-not-ready-for-waves/
http://www.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/news/3009842/NZ-not-ready-for-waves/
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Famous Pirika and Martha
If you can (online) access the 'Waikato Times', check out page 3 and under a title "NZ not ready for waves" there is a beautiful photo with a caption underneath it as follows: "Hoping for a bite: Pirika Sinclair-Phillips, 9, of North Canterbury, fishes at Ngarimu Bay yesterday while on holiday on the Coromandel Peninsula". That's right, our Pirika and Martha made the paper. You will see the serene paradise we are coping with daily :)
We heard that is was snowing in ChCh earlier today? Not here. I exhale and remember why this peninsula and the Marlborough Sounds are the two places in NZ that I have wanted to live in for many years now.
Today has been a great day for Jacky. Nerve pain has settled and is almost gone! Jacky has spent the last two days resting which has been fantastic for her, and she will be doing more of the same tomorrow. Every day she is feeling better and better. Jacky is becoming well! God the relief is intense. Moreso when we stop to think of this year to date for us. To not have the worry each day about when Jacky will die is an indescribeable relief for us all.
Pirika and Martha told me yesterday how they "don't even remember what it was like before Mama was sick". That was a sad moment for me, and Jacky of course when I later told her, however it quickly turned to a joyful moment as I was able to reinforce to them both that soon, their Mama would be well again.
Today Pirika, Martha and I went to a Butterfly House. It was gorgeous! Giant blue winged butterflys, plus about a dozen other variety. It was like being inside one of Marthas fairytopia movies. I giggled to myself imagining how beautiful it was to us but the horror that someone like our dear Rhonda would experience opening her eyes, and discovering herself in a tropical environment filled with colourful flapping wing insects :)
Tomorrow we go fishing again! And tomorrow evening dear dear Sheila and Simon are coming to hang with us. Blessed are we with such good and dear friends.
Warmly, The Sinclair-Phillips whanau
xo
We heard that is was snowing in ChCh earlier today? Not here. I exhale and remember why this peninsula and the Marlborough Sounds are the two places in NZ that I have wanted to live in for many years now.
Today has been a great day for Jacky. Nerve pain has settled and is almost gone! Jacky has spent the last two days resting which has been fantastic for her, and she will be doing more of the same tomorrow. Every day she is feeling better and better. Jacky is becoming well! God the relief is intense. Moreso when we stop to think of this year to date for us. To not have the worry each day about when Jacky will die is an indescribeable relief for us all.
Pirika and Martha told me yesterday how they "don't even remember what it was like before Mama was sick". That was a sad moment for me, and Jacky of course when I later told her, however it quickly turned to a joyful moment as I was able to reinforce to them both that soon, their Mama would be well again.
Today Pirika, Martha and I went to a Butterfly House. It was gorgeous! Giant blue winged butterflys, plus about a dozen other variety. It was like being inside one of Marthas fairytopia movies. I giggled to myself imagining how beautiful it was to us but the horror that someone like our dear Rhonda would experience opening her eyes, and discovering herself in a tropical environment filled with colourful flapping wing insects :)
Tomorrow we go fishing again! And tomorrow evening dear dear Sheila and Simon are coming to hang with us. Blessed are we with such good and dear friends.
Warmly, The Sinclair-Phillips whanau
xo
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Day of Sun, fishing and pain
Pain, still, due to nerve and muscle damage that is slowly but surely repairing itself. There is so much repair work going on right now inside dear Jackys body that it is astounding.. however the fact of the matter is - there is pain. And, for anyone who has suffered nerve pain - you know what it's like, and it isn't pleasant, on any level. Chox and Kates spa is proving to be a haven of warm welcome pain relief. Wolf is sourcing some high potency natural pain killers and we will be seeing him again on Saturday. The medicine man can lay his hands on you and take pain instantly away. Once the nephrostomy tubes have been removed life will be alot more settled and muscles wont want to spasm quite as much - hopefully.
Fishing again in Thornton Bay which is a short drive up the coast. Pirika, Martha and I today renamed the bay "Stingray Bay" as again we had the pleasure of watching a ray cruise the bay eating. BIG news for today is Pirika caught a 30 cm kahawai! Even better still, Pirika cast out himself, hauled in himself and with Marthas help they skillfully killed the fish quickly by cutting just under it's gills, then above it's head. And tonight for dinner Pirika, Martha and Caelan (Kate and Choxs nephew) enjoyed kahawai for dinner. Magical.
Sun - well I tell ya, this place is heavenly. Oranges grow here, fat juicy feijoas, tangelos... falling in love? Yep - we sure are. If only we could relocate all of the delicious people from down home to this area... then it would be utopia.
Love you all. Pomarie. Us all. xxoo
Fishing again in Thornton Bay which is a short drive up the coast. Pirika, Martha and I today renamed the bay "Stingray Bay" as again we had the pleasure of watching a ray cruise the bay eating. BIG news for today is Pirika caught a 30 cm kahawai! Even better still, Pirika cast out himself, hauled in himself and with Marthas help they skillfully killed the fish quickly by cutting just under it's gills, then above it's head. And tonight for dinner Pirika, Martha and Caelan (Kate and Choxs nephew) enjoyed kahawai for dinner. Magical.
Sun - well I tell ya, this place is heavenly. Oranges grow here, fat juicy feijoas, tangelos... falling in love? Yep - we sure are. If only we could relocate all of the delicious people from down home to this area... then it would be utopia.
Love you all. Pomarie. Us all. xxoo
Monday, October 26, 2009
Changes
There has been no other point in Jackys life, in my life or in our lives together that has facilitated such a huge change as this meeting with medicine man Wolf and his beautiful wife Lara. Everything has changed for us, or has moved to where it should be I guess you could say. Jackys healing is continuing at a rapid rate. During the major surgery her extensor (may have spelt that wrong?) muscle was severed which added to why her femur was out of it's hip socket and the sciatic spasm pain and so on it snowballed. At the moment the pain that Jacky is experiencing is nerve pain due to the nerves that were damaged coming back "online" if you like and regenerating. Another major win is that Jacky is now no longer on panadol!
The mass in her lower back that the doctors believed to be "recurrent cancer" is breaking down and being absorbed into Jackys blood stream and is being dealt with accordingly by her liver and kidneys. She is taking a number of support minerals and 'potions' to assist her body through dealing with this. I spoke to our own doctor (GP extroidanaire) David Ritchie in Christchurch this afternoon to give him an update as to where Jacky is at and David said everything checked out and certainly Jackys blood results support Wolfs diagnosis. It is all good! Still a way to go, however this gentle wise man has quite literally saved Jackys life, already we know this.
We are already saying to each other of how much we will miss him when we return home to Waikuku. How do you repay such a gift in life as this? It is another one of those situations where Thank you just doesnt seem enough.
We wish that all of our good friends, infact everyone could have access to such experience as this.
Pirika and Martha are great - spending alot of time in their Auntys spa and have been the patient gorgeous beings that they are through our journeys towards Waihi and Wolf magic. They know the good that is being done and are comfortable and at home in Wolfs home. Pirika said "I want to give Wolf the hugest hug in the world for how he is helping my mama".
Tomorrow we are going fishing. Only 15 mins drive to serene bays where yesterday we watched stingray swim. Truly. Must sign off now. Hope you who are reading this are well and happy. Warm love to you all, from all of Us here.
The mass in her lower back that the doctors believed to be "recurrent cancer" is breaking down and being absorbed into Jackys blood stream and is being dealt with accordingly by her liver and kidneys. She is taking a number of support minerals and 'potions' to assist her body through dealing with this. I spoke to our own doctor (GP extroidanaire) David Ritchie in Christchurch this afternoon to give him an update as to where Jacky is at and David said everything checked out and certainly Jackys blood results support Wolfs diagnosis. It is all good! Still a way to go, however this gentle wise man has quite literally saved Jackys life, already we know this.
We are already saying to each other of how much we will miss him when we return home to Waikuku. How do you repay such a gift in life as this? It is another one of those situations where Thank you just doesnt seem enough.
We wish that all of our good friends, infact everyone could have access to such experience as this.
Pirika and Martha are great - spending alot of time in their Auntys spa and have been the patient gorgeous beings that they are through our journeys towards Waihi and Wolf magic. They know the good that is being done and are comfortable and at home in Wolfs home. Pirika said "I want to give Wolf the hugest hug in the world for how he is helping my mama".
Tomorrow we are going fishing. Only 15 mins drive to serene bays where yesterday we watched stingray swim. Truly. Must sign off now. Hope you who are reading this are well and happy. Warm love to you all, from all of Us here.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
A word from the little son
Hi whanau and friends, miss yous all. Today we are going fishing and the weather is really sunny. Uncle Reuben is coming to see us this afternoon. mr Wolf is very nice. Mummy Jacky is feeling alot better. Love yous all, from Pirika
PS. Hi Tim, miss ya bro. xxoo
PS. Hi Tim, miss ya bro. xxoo
the last couple of days
The weather here in Thames has been warm, simply beautiful. You dont have to spend much time here to feel the climate benefits that come with living further north that we do. Out the back of Chox and Kates house the view in one direction is of the side of a large hill that is covered in native bush. The bird song is that of Tui, mainly. Here is devine.
Yesterday was a much better day for Jacky than she has had in some time. Wolf put her right femur bone back in her hip socket as part of our first visit with him on Friday. Rather than being centred, it was off and was pressing on nerves that were adding to the sciatic pain that Jacky has had since her first surgery back in early June. As a consequence of that along with the rest of the magic that our new friend performed with Jacky during that first visit, on Friday night Jacky had the best sleep she has had in months. It should be noted that she is on no hard core pain relief or anti nausea medication that the Drs and pallative care team from the hospital prescribed and said that she would be on until she died! The satisfaction in proving them wrong is immense for me - I cannot imagine being Jacky through any of this.
Today we saw Wolf again and he was really pleased with how Jacky is progressing. Wolf and his wife Lara have Jacky on an alkaline diet and a number of "potions" to support her body during this major cleanse. Jacky is looking great. And she is improving by the second - quite literally. It really is incredible how your body responds when you treat it as you should do. It has occured to me that it is no wonder that we as humans abuse our environment and planet so carelessly, as we do the same to our own bodies without a second thought, in most instances. I have been reminded of one of my favourite quotes - " in nature there are neither rewards nor punishments, only consequences" .
Jacky is not eating any: meat, dairy, sugar, fruit (due to the sugar content), yeast, eggs, seafood for the next 10 days. It's hardcore, and it's working. Acidity in cells is the base for all dis ease. Wolf has been adamant from within the first couple of minutes working with Jacky that she will be fine, and that her health will be restored, fully.
Chox and I got some Wolf treatment today, what a treat! The man quite literally is wonderous. He uses his hands to see your internal organs, bones, your blood work and cells. He does not view it as strange or unreal at all, as this gift has been his from birth. He told us of his uncle, his father and his grandfather who were all medicine men as well and of their somewhat un orthodox treatments - some of which make Wolf and his work appear dull! And I can assure you, he is certainly not dull at all. To watch Wolf work is something that makes you feel honoured, to be worked on by him is one of those turning points in your life.
Pirika and Martha want to say that they miss you all, but especially: AJ and ALL their cousins, Kai and Marls, Oscar and Monty, Chester (its nearly your birthday!), Eliza and Alex.. and a big shout out from them both to all of Waikuku School. Jacky and I just want to send you all love. You beautiful people have kept us going, when the going has been hard. We love you.
Pomarie. The Sinclair-Phillips whanau
xo
Yesterday was a much better day for Jacky than she has had in some time. Wolf put her right femur bone back in her hip socket as part of our first visit with him on Friday. Rather than being centred, it was off and was pressing on nerves that were adding to the sciatic pain that Jacky has had since her first surgery back in early June. As a consequence of that along with the rest of the magic that our new friend performed with Jacky during that first visit, on Friday night Jacky had the best sleep she has had in months. It should be noted that she is on no hard core pain relief or anti nausea medication that the Drs and pallative care team from the hospital prescribed and said that she would be on until she died! The satisfaction in proving them wrong is immense for me - I cannot imagine being Jacky through any of this.
Today we saw Wolf again and he was really pleased with how Jacky is progressing. Wolf and his wife Lara have Jacky on an alkaline diet and a number of "potions" to support her body during this major cleanse. Jacky is looking great. And she is improving by the second - quite literally. It really is incredible how your body responds when you treat it as you should do. It has occured to me that it is no wonder that we as humans abuse our environment and planet so carelessly, as we do the same to our own bodies without a second thought, in most instances. I have been reminded of one of my favourite quotes - " in nature there are neither rewards nor punishments, only consequences" .
Jacky is not eating any: meat, dairy, sugar, fruit (due to the sugar content), yeast, eggs, seafood for the next 10 days. It's hardcore, and it's working. Acidity in cells is the base for all dis ease. Wolf has been adamant from within the first couple of minutes working with Jacky that she will be fine, and that her health will be restored, fully.
Chox and I got some Wolf treatment today, what a treat! The man quite literally is wonderous. He uses his hands to see your internal organs, bones, your blood work and cells. He does not view it as strange or unreal at all, as this gift has been his from birth. He told us of his uncle, his father and his grandfather who were all medicine men as well and of their somewhat un orthodox treatments - some of which make Wolf and his work appear dull! And I can assure you, he is certainly not dull at all. To watch Wolf work is something that makes you feel honoured, to be worked on by him is one of those turning points in your life.
Pirika and Martha want to say that they miss you all, but especially: AJ and ALL their cousins, Kai and Marls, Oscar and Monty, Chester (its nearly your birthday!), Eliza and Alex.. and a big shout out from them both to all of Waikuku School. Jacky and I just want to send you all love. You beautiful people have kept us going, when the going has been hard. We love you.
Pomarie. The Sinclair-Phillips whanau
xo
Friday, October 23, 2009
The matrix
Meeting Wolf today was like being unplugged from the matrix - again. That's all I can say for now as Jacky (and myself) are still trying to digest it all. There was a lot to take in.
I can tell you that Wolf is Cherokee, from the Wolf Clan and that he grew up on a reservation. At age 18 he told his grandfather that he was going to leave to join the US military as he needed to learn two things:
1. how to have deep compassion for those in great pain, and;
2. fear - he said he knew that war would teach him both of these.
He then went on to spend 21 years working for a US military "special forces" unit.
He has been working on being a medicine man since he was 7 years old. He is articulate and funny, has long gray hair pulled back into a pony tail and has a face that is as wise as it is beautiful.
He knows who he is and what he is doing and in his presence you are left completely sure of this.
I wanted to cry most of the time we were there, due to everything we have been through to date, more specifically, everything my Jacky and my Pirika and Martha have been through to date.
We are having a day off tomorrow - no driving, no appointments, just us and the lovely climate of Thames.
Back to see Wolf again on Sunday. I can tell you that Jacky is already in way less pain from the 2 and a half hours spent with Wolf today. I did ask Wolf what brought him to New Zealand, he replied "peace".
And, when he travels out of body his soul colour is orange, that was cool to hear :)
Loving ya's - ALL!
xo
I can tell you that Wolf is Cherokee, from the Wolf Clan and that he grew up on a reservation. At age 18 he told his grandfather that he was going to leave to join the US military as he needed to learn two things:
1. how to have deep compassion for those in great pain, and;
2. fear - he said he knew that war would teach him both of these.
He then went on to spend 21 years working for a US military "special forces" unit.
He has been working on being a medicine man since he was 7 years old. He is articulate and funny, has long gray hair pulled back into a pony tail and has a face that is as wise as it is beautiful.
He knows who he is and what he is doing and in his presence you are left completely sure of this.
I wanted to cry most of the time we were there, due to everything we have been through to date, more specifically, everything my Jacky and my Pirika and Martha have been through to date.
We are having a day off tomorrow - no driving, no appointments, just us and the lovely climate of Thames.
Back to see Wolf again on Sunday. I can tell you that Jacky is already in way less pain from the 2 and a half hours spent with Wolf today. I did ask Wolf what brought him to New Zealand, he replied "peace".
And, when he travels out of body his soul colour is orange, that was cool to hear :)
Loving ya's - ALL!
xo
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Yes! Here we are in Thames :)
Our journey today was a good one, it was always going to be a good day with this being our destination though - no doubts about that. Martha is reading to Mama Jacky and Pirika from her school reading books, Choxs mum Margaret is knitting in the lounge room, Kate is pottering around generally making us all feel welcome, warm and loved. Dear Aunty Chox is still at work but will be home soon and I think "special salad" is what we are having for dinner - YUM!
And tomorrow is the day of the Wolf. The anticipation that surrounds this visit is almost overwhelming. I feel as though I want to put pressure on him to heal our dear Jacky - "perform or else!" - and at the same time I know, deeply that the healing has already begun. I txt Wolf in the middle of the dark hours at about 3am this morning asking for help and advice re pain, and he rang back almost immediately, again. Does this man ever sleep? There is a sense that he and Jacky already know each other and that when they do stand face to face tomorrow that it will be a reunion rather than a first greeting. This I also know.
Beautiful to be here. So off I go to be here. Jacky wants to send you all her love, lots of it and as always is eternally Thankful for your love and support.
I've always prided myself for having surperb taste in people. We love ya's.
Pen - was thinking of you lots today. Kas, Laura, Rhonda - all of you who are commenting - Thanks, is nice to hear back.
xo
And tomorrow is the day of the Wolf. The anticipation that surrounds this visit is almost overwhelming. I feel as though I want to put pressure on him to heal our dear Jacky - "perform or else!" - and at the same time I know, deeply that the healing has already begun. I txt Wolf in the middle of the dark hours at about 3am this morning asking for help and advice re pain, and he rang back almost immediately, again. Does this man ever sleep? There is a sense that he and Jacky already know each other and that when they do stand face to face tomorrow that it will be a reunion rather than a first greeting. This I also know.
Beautiful to be here. So off I go to be here. Jacky wants to send you all her love, lots of it and as always is eternally Thankful for your love and support.
I've always prided myself for having surperb taste in people. We love ya's.
Pen - was thinking of you lots today. Kas, Laura, Rhonda - all of you who are commenting - Thanks, is nice to hear back.
xo
unknown villages
Good evening everyone.. we are coming to you tonight live from the Waitomo Caves holiday park. (Highly recommended on the cleanliness of their toilets alone..love a good clean loo.. )
Both Jacky and I have never been to this place before, infact I did not even know there was a village here so it will be nice to look around tomorrow in the light of day, we pulled in here and set up camp tonight after dark.
The beautiful Mr Pirika and the divine Miss Martha are right now sleeping soundly in their "upstairs bedroom" - earlier tonight whilst being told by grumpy tired me to "hurry up" and make their beds and get into them, there was no end of delirious giggling from behind the curtain that makes the bed above the cabin their new bedroom. I'm so glad they are intuitive enough to know when to not take me seriously. I was trying to be serious - they just knew better.
Jacky is trying to sleep which is proving tricky with the nagging pain she gets in her leg and sometimes shoulder. We are longing, longing to meet Mr Wolf and to enjoy the weaving of his magic. Whatever it is and however it happens - we know that we are in the right time at the right place, right now. That's quite a mind "fucky" thing for me to say when sometimes I just want to weep about the enormous injustice of this all on my wife and my children. You know?
It will be so good to have my dear wife without pain, able to live and be and run after the kids and give me cheek again. The trick is holding the vision of that when it all feels quite desperate. I still feel bitter at the hospital for putting my children and myself through that, for making us expect that Jacky would die very soon. It was shit and it impacts my every day although I try to not allow it to, henceforth the desperate feelings I guess.
I feel myself becoming more gruff by the day. I know - scary, nonetheless true.
Tomorrow our hikoi will take us to Thames, to dear Chox and Kate. Oh the relief that will lay for us, in their company.
Sleep well out there.
Warmly, Us xo
Both Jacky and I have never been to this place before, infact I did not even know there was a village here so it will be nice to look around tomorrow in the light of day, we pulled in here and set up camp tonight after dark.
The beautiful Mr Pirika and the divine Miss Martha are right now sleeping soundly in their "upstairs bedroom" - earlier tonight whilst being told by grumpy tired me to "hurry up" and make their beds and get into them, there was no end of delirious giggling from behind the curtain that makes the bed above the cabin their new bedroom. I'm so glad they are intuitive enough to know when to not take me seriously. I was trying to be serious - they just knew better.
Jacky is trying to sleep which is proving tricky with the nagging pain she gets in her leg and sometimes shoulder. We are longing, longing to meet Mr Wolf and to enjoy the weaving of his magic. Whatever it is and however it happens - we know that we are in the right time at the right place, right now. That's quite a mind "fucky" thing for me to say when sometimes I just want to weep about the enormous injustice of this all on my wife and my children. You know?
It will be so good to have my dear wife without pain, able to live and be and run after the kids and give me cheek again. The trick is holding the vision of that when it all feels quite desperate. I still feel bitter at the hospital for putting my children and myself through that, for making us expect that Jacky would die very soon. It was shit and it impacts my every day although I try to not allow it to, henceforth the desperate feelings I guess.
I feel myself becoming more gruff by the day. I know - scary, nonetheless true.
Tomorrow our hikoi will take us to Thames, to dear Chox and Kate. Oh the relief that will lay for us, in their company.
Sleep well out there.
Warmly, Us xo
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday night word from the wife
Jacky is SMILING, Martha is giggling constantly whilst playing wrestling with her new friend Deb and her Aunty Toni, Pirika is cheering for Martha at the same time as playing nintendo Wii (joyful is the son)... all is well in our world :) How blessed we are. Thank you Thank you Thank you. :) :) :) :) Missing the Waikuku ites (you know who you are), Tima, Shindler, Shadow and CK as well... so nice to know you beautiful humans are travelling this journey with us.. Thanks for being there/here.. again I say it and say it again I will.
Warmest love from Island Bay the house of chocolate and giggles in Wellington.
Warmest love from Island Bay the house of chocolate and giggles in Wellington.
lovely night in Wellington
Greetings people, firstly I'd like to say how much appreciation and love I have for you all my dear friends and whanau. This experience has been extremely humbling to say the least. I appreciate the love and support you have all shown me and my family at this time. I am honoured to be your friend and look forward to coming home to a time of celebration with you all. You will all be aware by now of the stressful circumstances we faced with ChCh public hospital. Something I wouldn't wish upon any other person. By putting that in the past I have been able to see an alternative way forward and I am looking forward to positive results. I have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
After spending the night in Blenheim last night we caught the Aratere ferry at 10am and the sign at the vehicle check in said it would be a "moderate" sailing :) Viv said "If this is moderate I'd hate to see it when it's choppy or stormy". We arrived in wonderful Wellington and Viv drove the campervan skillfully off the ship and into town (lol) for some lunch. After nearly taking out a rubbish bin parking (yes that was Viv) we were side swiped by a car and the only damage was that the car who hit us lost it's mirror - no damage at all to the hikoi wagon - whew - thank goodness! Our lovely friend Toni met us downtown to navigate our hikoi to her warm whare for the evening. Toni prepared us a DELICIOUS roast lamb with all the trimmings and we are about to eat home made chocolate cheesecake (made by super flat mate Deb).. Deb is from Kaponga Taranaki - say no more :) Tomorrow the hikoi will take us north west to Poppa Allans where we have been told a hangi, kina, paua, bubu's and lots more love awaits.
Thats all from me for now - Pomarie, Jacky S-P xo
After spending the night in Blenheim last night we caught the Aratere ferry at 10am and the sign at the vehicle check in said it would be a "moderate" sailing :) Viv said "If this is moderate I'd hate to see it when it's choppy or stormy". We arrived in wonderful Wellington and Viv drove the campervan skillfully off the ship and into town (lol) for some lunch. After nearly taking out a rubbish bin parking (yes that was Viv) we were side swiped by a car and the only damage was that the car who hit us lost it's mirror - no damage at all to the hikoi wagon - whew - thank goodness! Our lovely friend Toni met us downtown to navigate our hikoi to her warm whare for the evening. Toni prepared us a DELICIOUS roast lamb with all the trimmings and we are about to eat home made chocolate cheesecake (made by super flat mate Deb).. Deb is from Kaponga Taranaki - say no more :) Tomorrow the hikoi will take us north west to Poppa Allans where we have been told a hangi, kina, paua, bubu's and lots more love awaits.
Thats all from me for now - Pomarie, Jacky S-P xo
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Off and away 1st hikoi day
Finally about to hit the road after a delayed but good day.. delay caused by the fact that when we went to pick up the campervan the sole person who was working at Adventure Campervans today did not even know that we were coming - so there was no hikoi vehicle waiting! After her cleaning a bit of a scody (spellcheck??) campervan, replacing a faulty reverse light we were about to go - however then discovered that one of the four seatbelts did not work..sigh... Mama Viv asked her family to wait in the old campervan and went in to sort it... about 30 mins later we were driving homeward in a delux 6 berth far superior campervan. Blessings disguised as burdens - they are everywhere it seems in this life. On the way home Viv flew (in second gear!) over a judder bump/bar and injured dear Jacky fairly significantly.. now Viv knows that in such a BIG vehicle she needs to be in 1st gear for such situations. Anyway - logging off and heading away...yeeehaaaa. Love you all - lots. xo
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Thank you note from Pirika
Dear whanau and friends and even teachers I love you. 2 sleeps to go yay! I'm going to miss you all. today I cried just because I was going to miss school and what I forgot to do before I left school today is say bye to mrs scarlet and mr hornblow I would like to name all the people I'm going to miss kai,oscar,Alex,chester,eliza,alex ,ruby, monty especially,jahmal ,aj,stevie,all my adult friends what I'd like to say is thank you thank you to all of yous who helped my mum I love yous all love pirika. p.sthank you.
What does Thank you mean? A word from the wife
It is difficult for me to articulate how truly Thankful I am, Pirika and Martha are, we are as a family are for the all of the love, support, baking, house moving, garden moving, kai delivery, koha, hugs, massage and healing that have been given to Jacky (and us as a whanau) through this journey to date. Thank you for just being there/here with us. For laughing and crying with us, for grieving and for rejoicing with us, for taking the time out of your own lives to dedicate yourselves to us - we are eternally indebted.
Honestly - there are no words that could express the heart felt, soul felt gratitude we have - for you all... our friends, our whanau and our soul mates. I could name you all - but you know who you are, and we love you for it, more than we did before it.
Thank you means more than any words, in this instance that I know of.
However - from the deepest and most sincere part of my being.. THANK YOU, all.
It is our pleasure to have you accompany the Sinclair-Phillips whanau on this hikoi. It will no doubt be a journey that is both full on with steep crevice and also sprinkled with peaceful relaxed valleys of contentment... more of the later we feel as we journey towards the great north "Te Ika A Maui" and to places that have already provided more healing on physical, emotional and spiritual levels than the hospital in its stark comparison could ever dream of. Hospitals are places where you "get things done" they are not healing centres - a sad piece of reality in our western culture, and in this day and age, they have their uses and inside them are some truly gorgeous caring individuals. Our deepest Thanks must go out to those people as well. The charge nurse and her staff at ward 14 are incredible women - we love you and will never forget your professional gentle care.
That's me for today. We are busy getting ready for the hikoi, there are lists and lists of lists.. it is a big thing taking your two children on the road for 30 days.. let alone the extra luggage my dear wife has that are an essential part of her healing.
A last Thank you for the healing energy that is flooding Jackys being, coming from you all - keep it coming - please. It makes a difference, it truly does.
Warmest love,
The wife.
Honestly - there are no words that could express the heart felt, soul felt gratitude we have - for you all... our friends, our whanau and our soul mates. I could name you all - but you know who you are, and we love you for it, more than we did before it.
Thank you means more than any words, in this instance that I know of.
However - from the deepest and most sincere part of my being.. THANK YOU, all.
It is our pleasure to have you accompany the Sinclair-Phillips whanau on this hikoi. It will no doubt be a journey that is both full on with steep crevice and also sprinkled with peaceful relaxed valleys of contentment... more of the later we feel as we journey towards the great north "Te Ika A Maui" and to places that have already provided more healing on physical, emotional and spiritual levels than the hospital in its stark comparison could ever dream of. Hospitals are places where you "get things done" they are not healing centres - a sad piece of reality in our western culture, and in this day and age, they have their uses and inside them are some truly gorgeous caring individuals. Our deepest Thanks must go out to those people as well. The charge nurse and her staff at ward 14 are incredible women - we love you and will never forget your professional gentle care.
That's me for today. We are busy getting ready for the hikoi, there are lists and lists of lists.. it is a big thing taking your two children on the road for 30 days.. let alone the extra luggage my dear wife has that are an essential part of her healing.
A last Thank you for the healing energy that is flooding Jackys being, coming from you all - keep it coming - please. It makes a difference, it truly does.
Warmest love,
The wife.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
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